Why is it Catfish season all year round?

 

How many of you are reading this and angrily reminiscing of the time when you were in this predicament? You invested your time getting to know someone, shared countless conversations with them, intimate details only to find out in the end, they were not who they claimed to be. This epidemic seems to becoming more rampant now not only in the online dating world, but in the online social media world as well. I have personally experienced a situation where I took a chance on a prospective romantic suitor, which is scary enough for me as it is, opened up myself to him and agreed to going on a date. I was super excited since we hit it off, had great conversations, flirtatious banter and we both were attracted to each others pictures. The morning of the date, he texted me about his excitement about meeting me and he’d see me at 8pm at the restaurant. I got there about 10 minutes to eight and texted him to let him know I was sitting at the bar, but, didn’t get a response. I called , went straight to voicemail…… It’s now 9pm, I was sipping my second vodka on the rocks at the bar accepting the fact this guy was not showing up. I felt crushed, embarrassed and angry. The next day, I decided to do some investigation. I uploaded a few pictures he sent me into google to see what showed up….well, let’s just say he is NOT a famous Columbian soccer player, which was the match for the pics this guy sent me…I felt beyond duped. Checked his profile on the dating site where we met and it was deleted. Clearly, it made sense that those weren’t his pictures and who knows what was actually real since he stood me up, never returned my texts or calls and never heard from him again.  It was hard to comprehend why someone would take weeks to get to know me, for what? Was it for some weird deranged thrill ? Was it the attention he was getting from me? Did he ever plan on even meeting me? I still ponder…

I have been hearing more and more about stories like this or simply people using other peoples photos as their own and enjoying the praise of compliments. What the “Catfishers” of the world might not understand is that what they are doing is extremely abusive, hurtful and very violating to the people they prey on. Especially in this day and age, it is beyond insensitive to mislead people into thinking they are someone they are not because it ends up breaking their trust, ego and confidence. IT IS CRUEL… I truly believe people who engage in this fraudulent act have either emotional or psychological issues they should recognize and get help. Playing with peoples emotions is extremely harmful and can cause long lasting damage, not to mention, trust issues with future relationships.

If you see something, say something. If you know someone is catfishing someone , the humanly thing to do is to share your knowledge and prevent someone who is opening their heart either romantically or as a friend, from being another Catfish victim.

 

Violation of Girl Code?

Fabulous start to the weekend. Friday 5pm prepping for happy hour and a night out with the girls: Still down 19lbs, vodka seltzer flowing,eye lashes on perfect and wearing my new blue dress where I can confidently say I was looking pretty hot due to the combination of my healthy eating and arduous workouts! To top it off, had a very handsome guy who I have been talking to from one of the dating sites meeting me out for a drink. We definitely hit it off, lots of chemistry and hopefully I’m gearing towards another date and see if this can lead to some kind of relationship. After a long fun night, we had a conversation in the morning and he advised me that one of my girl friends had friend requested him on facebook. Now, clearly, I was with this guy at the bar, intimately conversing and kissing, so there was no confusion that this was a romantic interest of mine.

 Feeling overly annoyed by this , I decided to text my friend (who happens to be 12 years older than me) who did this today to ask why she would request him on facebook, when in fact, that was my first “date” with him and I am just getting to know him. I also asked for her to unfriend him out of respect to me, as it makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. I have gotten no response to my texts and feeling very annoyed and somewhat disrespected.

Is this in violation of girl code? Ladies, I welcome any opinions as I am contemplating ending this friendship since these actions are not in line with what I call a friend and I have about 5 best friends who would never do something like this to me. (Also, she has a past history of blurring the boundary lines with not only me, but, other people when it comes to their significant other)

Thoughts? Comments? Advice?

It’s a boy, It’s a game (player), it’s an emotional headache – No wait….. It’s a MAN

After doing in-depth analysis on different relationships with men in my life, I have come to the conclusion that some men lack maturity, in it’s entirety;pointblank!

I have seen it in my personal dating life with men who  have the communication skills of about mmmmm.. 0 and the respect and chivalry is non-existent. Hey, I’m not looking for the whole ring my door bell, bring flowers on first date , but, come on, put a little effort in here guys. Us ladies know that giving a good first impression is so important and we actually get excited for dates so we can look sexy, smell good and feel confident for ourselves and for our date. Guys seem to lack any “effort chip” in the dating world these days and is a major turn-off for us sexy ladies who have wasted a perfectly great night to meet someone else.

On a deeper level, I have noticed that some guys actually revert back to the whole “high school” mentality and just love playing game. Note to Men and Men in training: If there is something on your mind, say it. We are not mind readers and the key to any relationship, friendship, marriage, whatever, is communication. While you might be thinking the other person is thinking one thing, in reality, they could be thinking the complete opposite. With this notion, you will be acting upon a false assumption leaving situations unresolved and miss-communications will become more frequent resulting in a rift in the relationship. Seems that people take for granted good relationships in their life because they are too scared of what feelings might come from the growth of the relationship, in a good or bad way. Many men seem to just retract, hide and avoid any of these feelings leaving so they don’t have to go outside their comfort zone. The other person (the woman) is in the dark, being pushed away and saddened by the redefined friendship that has been created by the fears, internal struggles or confusion coming from the man. Woman are natural nurturers and ofcourse we are extremely intelligent species, so it is quite easy to pick up on when a guy is pulling back and acting “off” and it’s just a shame that only if they could be honest with and the person, the drifting of that relationship would not have to take place. Good friendships between a guy and girl are really to be cherished as its a complimentary friendship especially when there is honesty and respect. It is a major turn off when men completely put up the smoke screen (As if we don’t recognize it!) and unable to enjoy the beauty of a mutually appreciated friendship.

As a strong woman, who is an open book to the close people in my life, I’m learning that I cannot change people, nor do I want to. I have great men in my life on all different levels and I am keeping my heart open for a real man to share my life with on the romance level. To protect myself from these breed of men , I am no longer wasting energy in any romantic interests, friendships or relationships with a man who is simply a boy dressed up in a Man’s suit and tie. 

Hope after all?

So after weirdos, dix pix, and creepsters I’ve encountered on my journey through the online dating scene, I actually met somewhere normal.. So far…

We have officially been talking for the past week, he has blended our conversations with a nice mix of both texts and phone calls. Our conversations are fun, informative and enjoyable. After talking for a few days, he asked me out on a date for dinner next week. Even for the the sake of chivalry, he offered to pick me up at my place, which I declined just for the mere chance he is an ax murderer (MD reference on that one, you know who you are!)

I can honestly say this is the first time in awhile I am excited to go on a date with an attractive guy who I enjoy talking to and share a lot of commonalities with.

Wish me luck and I will be looking forward to updating you on the outcome of the first date.

Text vs. Call in the dating world

In the great age of technology where anyone can be reached at any time , anywhere or any place, I feel dating has been greatly affected by this new wave by distancing actual communication between two people in regards to dating. Being newly single, my recent encounters at attempting the dating scene, have resulted multiple texts, requests for dirty pictures yet not one phone conversation. All communications, besides actual dates are done via text messaging, from personal experience and what I’m observing. And if you are asking yourself if age is a factor? Oh, I think not. Men ranging from 24 to 44 seem to find that text messaging is the proper and most common form of communication when pursuing a date. But, I remember back in the day, a good sense of knowing if you like the other person was based on how the communication and connection flows on the phone. So if that is now becoming extinct, does this mean that our generation are going to spawn off children who will have their primary contact method via text? In all scenarios?  I want to find a man who I meet and simply calls me, not text. I won’t even go into the lack of chivalry that is overwhelming now, I just want to hear a voice! What are your thoughts ladies?

We want to hear your voice not see your spelling errors…

Why are there so many 30 year old BOYS???

Seriously??????????? What happened to the scenario where guys have chivalry? Have loyalty? Morals about marriage? Courting a woman?

The bulk of the guys I have met lately have been 100% BOYS!!! 30-year-old guys not knowing what they want, having no regards to womans’ respects or normal expectations.  I feel that a lot of the guys I have met are simply BOYS. No expectations for looking for something serious or profound. These “boys” exhibit actions and mannerisms showing that they are not looking for any serious relationships and at the same time, show no respect for a woman. What happened to the days where men would be married at 25, supporting their family and showing chivalry, courting a lady for a date? Does that still exist??? Am I looking in the wrong places? Any input, please???